Enchanted Silence: Move Forward from the Letting Go of a Relationship and Start Life Fresh Again

In Enchanted Silence, Shivani is in a relationship with her investment banker fiancé Shaan.  I don’t want to give away the details, her relationship unravels with him when he cheats on her and afterwards, she is faced with the task of processing her pain and moving forward. 

Move forward and start life fresh again from the unraveling of a relationship

Move forward and start life fresh again from the unraveling of a relationship

There are many reasons for why a relationship unravels and when it does, it is a clear sign to let go of the relationship and start life fresh again.  To move forward.

As I’ve mentioned several times, Enchanted Silence is very, very inspired from my own life.  I identify with the main character and there are strong elements of my personality I infused in Shivani.  In my own life, I had to let go of a significant relationship.  It took me time, around two years, to move forward.

I can tell you healing takes time and requires deep reflection and inner work.  It requires major shifts from the inside in order for these changes to be truly life-changing and transformative in your external world.  

It means forgiving yourself big time for what you did do or didn’t do or said or didn’t say.  I remember repeating certain events and things I said over and over in my head about my past relationship.

For my healing process to truly occur, I had to dig deep within and ask myself: What fears are triggered from my letting go of this relationship?  What beliefs did I carry from this relationship?  What stories do I keep telling myself about men and romantic relationships?

The answers to these questions astounded me.  After some deep digging internally, I came up with:

I felt I wouldn’t be able to let go of my relationship or that I shouldn’t because it meant I wasn’t successful at relationships or am a good person.  I also believed that having been with this person for four years, it had to stand for something.  That if I worked harder, then this relationship would work.  I deserved this…to be with a man who couldn’t love me the way I deeply desired to be loved or be committed to.

The story I kept telling myself was that I wouldn’t be able to move forward and start life fresh again.  That I wouldn’t be able to find someone again.  That I couldn’t have a healthy relationship filled with emotional and sexual intimacy and richness. 

Just by writing all this, I can feel my heart and my body respond.  These beliefs have clearly been embedded emotionally and energetically in my body and playing out in my life.

Now try this:  What new story do I desire to tell myself about men and romantic relationships?  What does this new story say about my worth?  What needs to be accepted, loved, and integrated into my full self?  What is an action step(s) I can take to make this story real?

The new story I’d like to tell myself: I absolutely deserve and am worthy of such a magnificent, wonderful, support man in my life.  That I have sacred union with him and have a beautiful, healthy relationship that is filled with beauty, grace, forgiveness, trust, and lots and lots of sexiness.  I am worthy of this and welcoming tremendous amounts of love and abundance into my life and our relationship is  a reflection of this deep richness.  And I too, am a sexy, beautiful, marvelous woman.

I must accept that I’m not perfect always.  That I can be stubborn at times.  That I’ve made mistakes and have not loved myself completely which reflected in my relationship with myself and romance.  I forgive myself for all this and starting this very moment, I love myself wholly and even love myself during all the moments I didn’t feel entirely beautiful and whole.  I am enough for who I am.

The action step I can take to make this story real is to put myself in the dating scene again and meet men and as I move through this process, I feel genuinely whole and enough as I am right now.  And that I can pursue my passions and have fun and feel deep joy in my own life by going for massages, festivals, meeting friends, and doing everything I love to do that makes me me.

As you can see here, I took it upon to change the story to a new story with new beliefs that serve me and support me as I move forward in starting life fresh again.  As I wrote this, I literally felt my body and energy changing to the words.  It was transformative!  And of course, this was simply a glimpse into the process.  There is more deep inner work to do.

There are some beautiful sensual and intuitive practices to combine with this that will support you to facilitate your transformation process faster.

Sensual Practices:  Create a sacred self-pleasure ritual where you connect to your soul through your sexuality and allow more pleasure into your life.  This practice is customized to whatever you’d like it to be.  The whole point is to have an intention and do this daily as a way to deeply love yourself and become more acquainted to your womanhood.  You can go for massages and dress up in ways that make you feel feminine, soft, and sexy in your day-to-day life, not just parties or special events.  Again, do what makes you feel like a sexy, beautiful woman.

Intuitive Practices:  Process all your feelings and fears and even excitement that arises about starting life fresh again.  Write daily in your journal.  Keep it handy when you go to work or by your bed.  Allow yourself to cry and laugh freely and when and as you wish.  Become crystal clear how you’d like to feel in your new life and whether that includes moving forward with a new relationship or you wish to simply spend time with yourself.

Are you in a similar situation?  Are you looking to move forward again?  Would you like to heal your wounds and become a brand new transformed woman?

If this post resonated with you and you’d like to move forward and start life fresh again from a relationship’s unraveling, please get in touch with me and schedule time with me to become more Wildly intimate with your desires and goals.  I’d love to hold space for your own deep transformation, dear Wildly Intimate Woman.

 

 

Image source: pearlz-n-lace.tumblr.com

How a Romantic Entanglement Cracked Me Open and Unraveled My Ego

I usually share little details of my personal life, particularly my romantic life.  But I endeavor to be as real as possible, I want to share something I went through in the earlier part of this year.

Being a writer, I am a dreamy romantic.  I love this side about myself actually.  I love being in love and feel passionately when in a relationship.  But it wasn’t always this way.  I wasn’t in touch with my divine femininity and sensuality for a long time.  I spent a large part of my life pretending to be detached and shoving my emotions for love.  I didn’t want to admit that I feel intensely and emotionally and am deeply affected by romance.  I liked to present the image that I’m strong and independent and don’t need anyone.  But that is far from the truth.

Love is a Divine Exchange of Energy and Purity

Love is a Divine Exchange of Energy and Purity

I love being in love.

I love that I can let my inner self and physicality shine through when I’m with someone I trust and feel safe and secure.  So the first half of this year, I started seeing someone.  He seemed to be a sweet guy.  If you know me personally, you will know that I don’t place too much importance on material considerations.  It is more important that this person showers me with genuine care and love.  I like a man who is sensitive to my little needs.  These little gestures of affection mean more to me than grand gestures of short-lived attraction.

When I started seeing him, he seemed to be perfect on paper.  He had a PhD and good job at a reputed company.  But more importantly, he seemed to be sweet and attentive to my needs.  I remember the exact moment I started to feel attracted to him.  In the beginning, he was just like any other guy, but this moment was the turning point.  We went to see a movie together in January and it was freezing cold.  I carry a scarf and jacket with me everywhere I go.  The movie theater was packed and I didn’t have a spare seat to place my scarf and jacket.  I placed the jacket and scarf on my lap and watched the movie with him.  My fingers gently played with my scarf and jacket.

About thirty minutes into the movie, he suddenly reached over to my lap and took my scarf and jacket and simply placed it on his lap.  When I realized what he was doing, I whispered in his ear that he didn’t need to hold my scarf and jacket and I could hold it.  He whispered back that he wanted to hold my jacket and scarf and I should enjoy the movie.

It sounds silly perhaps, but this gesture touched my soul.

I remember a warm fuzzy feeling overcoming me.  In that moment, I could see some kind of potential in him as a relationship and something more cemented.  He treated me nicely on our first date and took me out for dinner and I appreciated him making me feel special that night, but this little gesture meant more than that.

Now that I look back in retrospect, I realize why that moment meant so much to me.  I felt loved, honored, and respected.  Isn’t that what any woman or man wants from their partner or for that matter, any kind of relationship? We all want to feel like we matter and that in this gigantic Universe, we are loved and our voice and hearts are important.  This is the cornerstone of any relationship that blossoms.

But it is strange how life works out sometimes.  After this date, we continued to see each other and things dramatically changed.  What initially was a genuine exchange of energy, love, and care, turned into ego-driven fear and unhealthy attachment.  As time progressed, I noticed he put up walls and suddenly turned from someone sensitive to completely disregarding my emotions and needs.  I won’t place all the responsibility on him because it always takes two to tango.  I found my fears and insecurities being triggered as well and didn’t react in the most loving way at times.

But I will say this: I tried to do everything differently with him.  I pushed myself out of my comfort zone for the first time in my life.  I really wanted to work on myself and how I behave in love.  I wanted to be more real and honest with him.  And that was how I was the whole time.  Each time I tried to open my heart to him, he put up stronger walls.  I realize part of this was so I could develop a needy attachment to him to reaffirm his own self-worth and to increase my attraction for him, but ultimately it did what he didn’t wish for.  I started to feel less emotionally attached to him.

Long story short, this romantic entanglement didn’t last long and didn’t exactly end on pleasant terms.

It took me some time to understand why this happened and what lessons I was to learn from it because for the first time in my life I had given someone a legitimate chance and opened my heart to reveal the real me.  And one day as I was driving somewhere, the music was switched off and I felt my body soften and the word “ego” ringed in my head.  It was like a light bulb had flashed.  I remember stopping my car and breathing hard.

And then tears rolled down my cheeks.  By this time, I didn’t feel any romantic feelings or attraction towards him, but I had felt immense anger towards him.  But as those tears fell, all the anger washed away.

I realized that he represented my ego.

I loved in the past with attachment and need.  I couldn’t process my own fears and insecurities, so I used a man to feel this validation and love for myself.  But he could not give it to me because I didn’t give it to myself.  I wasn’t the source of my own love and fulfillment.

I finally understood why he had come into my life.  For my ego and need and attachment and fears to be peeled away one by one like the layers of an onion.  And then I felt a deep compassion for him.  How could I feel angry at him for not treating me the way I wanted to be treated?  On some level, his soul was meant to connect with me because he was meant to learn a divine lesson through me as well.  I felt love and kindness for him because I could see he could not reveal his real self because he lived through his head and ego and it was not serving him in any way.  It must be a painful and limiting way to live this way.

You see, the fear-driven ego only wants to limit you.  It wants to keep you in your safe comfort zone.  It doesn’t want the true essence of your soul to emerge.  And then the realization dawned on me:

I was grateful to him because he made me realize exactly what I wanted in my partner.  I knew what kind of partner and love I wanted to be with him.

When I next fall in love, I want to be real and raw.  I want the real Priyanka to shine through, including all my flaws and vulnerabilities.  I want to show up and serve in an honest way with my heart open.  I want to become a better woman so he can become a better man.  I want to ask him: My love, how would you like me to uplift and love you?  I want us to be a portal into the divine.  I desire us to serve and expand each other.   

This man, unknowingly, cracked me open through this experience.  Because if we hadn’t crossed paths, I would still be living and loving in my limited, fear-driven way.

I hold nothing against him.  I hope he finds his true love that uplifts him and he learns to feel comfortable to reveal his naked soul and love.  Because this experience has burned up all my darkness to pave the way for my soul’s light to shine through.

I can become a better woman not only in my relationship, but in every part of my life.  And this feels freeing and beautiful and divine.  I feel special because now I realize I have something special and valuable to bring to my partner and most importantly, to myself.

Have you had a similar experience where you found yourself taken aback and not understanding why it happened? How did you transform after learning the beautiful lesson(s) you were meant to learn?  Share your experience with me here.  I’d love to hear about it.

By |2015-11-16T10:19:48+00:00November 16th, 2015|Desire, Life Lessons, Romantic Advice|6 Comments

Relationships Are Powerful Teachers – 6 Key Lessons They Teach You

I have been thinking about relationships a lot recently. Maybe this is inspired by my own life and the fact that I’ve been watching a lot of Sex and The City recently.

Relationships Are Powerful Teachers

Relationships Are Powerful Teachers

On a more serious note, I can’t help but think about how relationships play a profound role in our lives. We all crave a loving, deeply meaningful relationship, yet obviously things aren’t as simple as we think. Either way, relationships teach us loads about ourselves.

They are powerful teachers and provide immense wisdom.

Look at Your Relationships as Powerful Teachers

Every relationship is meant to teach you about yourself. They trigger emotions and cause emotional inner blocks to rise. They help you to better understand yourself.

So ask yourself: What is this relationship throwing light on about myself? How can I grow? What are the lessons for me to learn?

Clear the Emotions and Inner Blocks

Inevitably, relationships bring attention to your inner blocks. They cause the trigger points to appear. Those deep wounds from previous relationships or childhood or any past experience that haven’t been fully resolved will definitely rise.

Your relationship is an opportunity for you to work through these blocks and clear the emotions.

Pay Attention to What Your Heart Truly Desires

Ultimately, whether the relationship works out or not does not matter, but what does matter is understanding your heart’s desires.

Really observe yourself. Determine what your heart truly desires. What do you want out of your partner? How do you want to behave in a relationship? How do you want to uplift one another in a relationship?

Keep Your Ego Out of the Picture

This one is hard. Ego comes into the picture sometimes. Don’t judge yourself when you respond from a place of control, fear, anxiety, or insecurity.

Instead observe yourself. And then do some inner work. Peel the layers of ego off and be real with yourself.

Be honest to yourself and even your partner.

Keep Your Heart Open

Always, always, and always keep your heart open! Even during challenging times. It’s easy to keep your heart closed, but keeping it open is difficult.

You can only create a true connection with yourself and your partner when you keep your heart open and give yourself permission to be vulnerable.

Fill Yourself With Love

Overfill your life and heart with love. Let it spill into all the areas of your life, so you can be a better person and partner.

What is your biggest takeaway from this post? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2015-03-17T16:00:39+00:00March 17th, 2015|Life Lessons, Romantic Advice|3 Comments

Chicken Soup for the Soul Friday – The Abusive Boyfriend in San Francisco

Be a Caring, Loving Boyfriend

Be a Caring, Loving Boyfriend

Here’s another Chicken Soup for the Soul Friday from my earlier blog.

“Recently, I was in San Francisco in the morning and very loud and unpleasant noise filled my ears. I pulled off my ear plugs to hear what the commotion was about.  A young man, in his early to mid-twenties was screaming at a young woman and pushing her.

Now, when you’re in the city, there’s already enough noise and energy that most people are indifferent to people yelling. But this guy was hurling all kinds of swear words at this girl who looked to be his girlfriend.

Another lady dressed in business formal clothe started to yell at this young man to leave the girl alone and he yelled back at her to mind her own business and the entire block stopped in their tracks and pulled off their cell phone, ear plugs, or whatever else was adorning their ears.

It was amazing how no one, including myself, stopped and approached the young guy who was physically and verbally abusing this woman, but this lady actually had the guts to scream at the man to stay away from the young woman.

But it also saddened me how some men, especially that young, was treating a woman in an appalling manner. It makes me shudder to think how he behaves with women in privacy, when that’s how he’s like in public.” – Priyanka

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2015-01-26T08:00:05+00:00January 26th, 2015|News, Romantic Advice|0 Comments

4 Easy Ways to be Comfortable With Your Sexuality

If you ask me how I feel about myself sexually, then I can give you a pretty clear, comfortable answer today. I am an extremely sexual person and love that side of me. But when I was in college and my early twenties, there was a shame and embarrassment around my sexuality.

Be Comfortable with Your Sexuality

Be Comfortable with Your Sexuality

A large part of it had to do with growing up in an Indian family. There was no talk about sex and so I discovered my views on it on my own. Here are some ways I helped myself become more comfortable with my sexuality:

Being Sexual is a Decision

Before you can do any of the steps I mention next, you will have to make the decision to be sexual. It has to be a truthful decision because only then can you look at your sexuality in a healthy way.

Take a Mirror and Look Down There

You’ll never learn about your tastes and preferences until you don’t see what’s down there. Your private parts are a beautiful part of your body. In your privacy, take a mirror and look what’s there. Develop a healthy curiosity.

Get Some Sexy Clothes!

Sexy clothes can mean lingerie. But it doesn’t have to be limited to only this. Go to the mall or shop online for whatever connects to your sexual taste. What turns you on? What makes you feel like a woman? What makes you feel uninhibited? It could even be as simple as wearing a T-Shirt and strolling around your place.

Self-Pleasure is Normal and Highly Recommended

Women who display sexual confidence are often those who have explored their bodies. They understand their needs and wants in detail. They are well aware of their sexual preferences. And one of the best ways to do this is to practice the art of self-pleasure (or masturbating).

Related: 6 Ways Guys Play Games in Dating and Relationships

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments!

By |2015-01-24T16:00:50+00:00January 24th, 2015|Desire, Ramblings, Romantic Advice|0 Comments

The Spiritual Lessons I learned from My Relationships

Relationships are treasures filled with infinite wisdom. They are stepping stones meant to elevate your spiritual self. They are supposed to help you reach your enlightened self. I wish I knew this earlier, but it has been starting to click now. I often wondered what drew two people together romantically.

Relationships Are Meant to Heal You

Relationships Are Meant to Heal You

Relationships Teach You Life Lessons

It doesn’t matter how your relationship started – whether casual or serious – it is meant to teach you life lessons. That person came into your life for a very specific and special reason. I met guys online and some through my family. But the most spooky and ironic have been the ones I met randomly. When certain men just walked into my life without me knowing what it would bring me.

I remember a guy I met at work and invited himself to my house. Another one I met at a bar. All of them taught me something valuable.

YOU Invited Those Relationships – They Are Your Creations

A little bit of history on me: I started dating when I was 24 years old. That’s probably late for American standards and though I haven’t been with too many people, for some reason, intense, profound relationships made their way into my life.

I remember even being told that I would attract very intense, sensitive souls into my life. How fitting that statement is.

Your relationships are your creation. They enter because they are meant to push certain emotional buttons in you. It is up to you to understand that and deal with the issues that arise from your emotional baggage. You know that guy or woman who goes through relationship after relationship, but nothing changes? It’s because they never learn the karmic lessons and hence keep attracting the same type of person and nothing fundamentally changes.

I finally realized this. I met up with a close friend who has known me since childhood. Right before she moved to the East Coast, we sat at a Sweet Tomato’s discussing our lives. The topic of love came up and she made one striking observation. She told me I’ve always liked the unattainable man. That statement punched me in the heart. I was startled. It was true. She had known every crush I had since the age of 15.

Every man I fell for was unattainable in many ways. It forced me to work on myself. Because I realized I had ran away from serious relationships and marriage even though deep down I really craved them. I was afraid of making myself vulnerable so I set myself up with men who I knew were not entirely right for me. I was as commitment phobic as they were. And this meant doing major work on my inner self to change that.

Relationships Draw Out Your Hidden Pain

They are meant to crack your heart open. Don’t be afraid of that. Be courageous and dive deep into falling in love. You’ll find parts of yourself awakened that you never knew existed.

No one enters a relationship thinking: Hmm! What life lessons will this teach me?

Subconsciously though, that is what is happening. We subconsciously choose the person to bring out your hidden pain. Someone who will push those emotional buttons in you and draw attention to where you need to do self work.

Looking back, there is a consistent pattern in the men I am attracted to. I am the eldest in my family and several responsibilities rest on my shoulders. I am methodical and controlled. But my choice of men is the exact opposite. I like someone who lives in the present, is laid back, and makes me laugh. They help me let go and be more relaxed. I also find that I don’t live in the future as much with him. I find that I embrace the unknown.

Another significant matter it brings up in me? That I am afraid of making myself emotionally vulnerable. That I can’t admit I can’t be always strong. That I have expectations and can’t always go along with the other person wants. I learned to stand up for myself and be true to my desires, no matter how much I love the person. And most of all, start taking chances in love and not think so much about what will happen. Being in love is a journey in itself.

Meant for Your Healing

Relationships are meant to heal you. Whatever your emotional issues are, they are meant to throw a light on them. Being with someone means healing yourself and letting go of the pain, so you can move forward and invite the greater into your life together.

Fear can never heal, only love can. Being in love is beautiful because you can only be happy when you love someone and yourself with all your heart. You can only be happy through forgiveness and love.

Helps Bring Out Your Individuality with the Right Person

Another significant lesson I learned? Too many people believe that being in a relationship is not worth it because it means throwing away your individuality and independence. If you are with the right person, your individuality will never be stifled. Instead, your individuality will blossom with the right person. They will elevate you to your highest consciousness. And you will do the same for him. Together, you will be more of yourself with each other.

What lessons have you learned from your relationships? How did you grow? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2014-12-14T23:30:22+00:00December 14th, 2014|Ramblings, Romantic Advice, Transformation|3 Comments

You Deserve a Good Man and Are Worthy of a Beautiful, Healthy Love

Do you believe you are worthy of a beautiful, healthy love? Ask yourself this question gently. Be honest to yourself. And are your actions aligning with your beliefs?

Do You Deserve a Healthy, Beautiful Love?

Do You Deserve a Healthy, Beautiful Love?

Your Thoughts and Beliefs Are Driving Your Actions

I said I deserved a good man, but did I really believe it? No, I didn’t. It was like a far fetched dream. And what was I receiving in return? Not the right man.

I could keep blaming the men in my life. To tell you the truth, they do have a role to play. They had brought in their own baggage and it affected me. But what about me? Why I was I attracting those men into my life?

Related: What to Do if Your Boyfriend Keeps Talking about His Ex Girlfriend

Because I Didn’t Believe I was Worthy of a Great, Healthy Love

I had to stop shifting my responsibility to the man I was seeing. If he didn’t fit into what I wanted in a man, then I needed to reexamine why I was with him.

If I wanted a healthy, great love, then I had to believe it NOW. It was the only way for the perfect, right man to enter my life.

If I feel only 70 % good, then only 70 % greatness would come to me. Once I fill the rest, then a pure, ever lasting love can come to me.

I would rather not date for the heck of it anymore. I don’t regret my past experiences, rather I feel immensely thankful and blessed for having them. I am not closing my heart at all. I am keeping my heart open because I want to marry the love of my life. Someone who brings out my best and with whom I can share a healthy relationship.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2014-12-01T08:00:33+00:00December 1st, 2014|Ramblings, Romantic Advice|0 Comments

How to React When Your Boyfriend Says the Magical Words: I Love You

Think back to the first time a guy uttered these magical words. I. Love. You. I can feel my face becoming hot just thinking about this beautiful memory. I remember the first time a guy told me this. I was stunned. My heart beat so fast and I couldn’t think straight.

Boyfriend Says: I Love You

Boyfriend Says: I Love You

A Radiant Energy Filled Me – I felt Happy

After that, it was uttered more times and it was beautiful. But nothing beat the first time I heard those words. It’s special and it doesn’t matter how the relationship turned out, it will remain forever imprinted in your heart.

How Do You React When those Words are Uttered?

If this hasn’t happened to you yet, but you have a feeling it will soon, then you may be wondering how to react. Well, if you feel love for him in your heart, then you can whisper the same words to him. Or you can respond with a delicate and soft kiss. You can hold his hand.

Let Silence Fill the Air

The first time it was said to me, we were talking on the phone. I had asked him about his feelings for me and where he thought we were heading. And that’s when he told me he loved me.

I was so shocked that I don’t think I said anything for a solid minute. Silence filled the air.

If you’re not sure, you can let silence fill the air. Or maybe you’re surprised – feel comfortable in being quiet and processing your thoughts to formulate a proper response.

How did you react when your boyfriend or husband said the magical words: I love you? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2014-11-16T08:00:48+00:00November 16th, 2014|Romantic Advice|0 Comments

How to Deal With a Commitment Phobic Man

Firstly, what are the qualities of a commitment phobic men? Why are they like that? Is it possible for them to change? If you ever crossed paths with one, these questions may have entered your mind.

Commitment Phobic Man

Commitment Phobic Man

A Commitment Phobic Man Has a Fear of Commitment

There is an unhealthy emotion or image attached to commitment. Even though he may be attracted or even in love with the woman in question, he can’t commit because there are too many fears bundled in him. He becomes anxious and may even panic when any topic or action even remotely reeks of commitment because in his mind he has associated it to not having his freedom.

Why is he like that? There are many possible reasons. He didn’t come from a stable home. He went through some deeply traumatic experience as a child that caused him to develop an unhealthy image of relationships and intimacy.

Talk to Him

If you’re seeing a man who is commitment phobic, then have a honest, open conversation with him. Tell him how you feel. Listen to him patiently while he tells you how he feels. This is the first step to deal with it together as a couple.

Tell Him to Deal with his Inner Fears

The ironic thing about a commitment phobic man is that even though he may be with the woman of his dreams, his fear may be greater than his desire to be in an intimate relationship. The only way this can change is when he stops running away from his fears, breaks his patterns of intimacy, and actually deals with all his fears.

Don’t Compromise Your Own Worth and Dreams

You can be supportive, but there is only so much you can do. Unless he doesn’t put in the work and want to deal with his own fears, there’s not much you can do. If you do want marriage and a healthy relationship, then give yourself time and also be clear to the man you are seeing. Don’t compromise on your own worth.

Have you had this experience? What did you do? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2014-11-13T08:00:05+00:00November 13th, 2014|Romantic Advice|0 Comments

What if You Need to Hide Your Boyfriend from Your Parents

Do you have a boyfriend you wanted to hide from your parents? I have known friends who have done this. Heck, I have done this before as well. I am not approving this nor am I condoning this. All I am saying is this can be a reality and it can happen.

From personal experience, I can tell you this is very time-consuming and can become messy. Initially, you may get a thrill out of it. But when too much time passes and the more serious your relationship becomes, hiding your boyfriend fills you with nervousness and anxiety.

Having said that, the older I get, the more I realize there are is no black or white in life. Only grays…

Hiding Your Boyfriend

Hiding Your Boyfriend

Think Deeply About Your Decision of Hiding Your Relationship

A relationship is intense. You may fall deeply in love with your boyfriend and he may be in love with you. If you are in the beginning stage of your relationship and wasn’t sure about your feelings and decided to hide your boyfriend to figure out your feelings, that’s fine. But think about this decision carefully. Understand the pros and cons associated with it.

Maybe your parents won’t approve of him because of an age difference or you’re from different backgrounds. Whatever the reason, you’re hiding him because your parents will not approve of him. I’m not saying this is the right solution, but if it feels right for you at the time, then do it responsibly.

Make Sure You’re on the Same Page as Your Boyfriend

When you take the decision of hiding your relationship, have an open discussion with your guy. Make sure you two are on the same page. Stories I heard from my girlfriends and even something I can tell you personally is that hiding your relationship can take a toll on you both. This is why it’s even more important to talk the decision out.

Set a Time Limit

Be realistic about hiding him. Understand you can’t hide him forever. There will have to come a day when you will need to develop the courage and tell your parents about him. Set a timeline for when you want to tell your parents. The longer you take, the more you two will become pressure cookers.

Have a Good and Trusted Friend

I had my best friend to confide everything to. I would highly suggest having a close and trusted friend with whom you can share your experiences of hiding your relationship. Someone who you know will support you unconditionally and you can lean on because this won’t be a smooth ride. Also, she can give you good advice and help you to develop the courage to tell your parents about your relationship.

After all, when you fall in love, don’t be embarrassed about it. Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing and you can love your parents and be with him at the same time. You don’t need to let go of one or the other. You can respectfully disagree with your parents and still fulfill your responsibilities as a daughter and yet remain true to yourself and be with the man you love.

Have you ever hidden a boyfriend from your family? How did you feel? Please share with me in the comments.

By |2014-11-06T16:00:50+00:00November 6th, 2014|Ramblings, Romantic Advice|4 Comments
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